Psychoanalytic theory of selfishness

 One of the main plus points of studying Psychology is that it broadens your perspective and makes you realize that there are all kinds of people in the world- the friendly ones, the shy, the bold, the hyper. In recent times, i have been trying to figure out what is it in a person that moulds them to be who they are. Freud's theory worked wonders in helping me with this, (to some degree) that the outward behavior is influenced by the unconscious. So, it is something in the environment or some event that has taken place in the life of the individual that makes him acquire certain distinct characteristics. For example, a girl who was physically abused during childhood, tends to develop hatred against men. But this does not explain selfishness wherein people talk about a certain event just to make another person feel terrible about it, or to rub it in their face. Guess it makes them feel good about it, but what ever happened to the conscience of these people? Do they not feel guilty for going that? Or don't they know what they are doing?

What i haven't been able to figure out so far is what exactly makes a person be selfish? Being possessive is one thing, but there are people who talk to you only when they need your help, or else, your existence does not matter to them; they are with you as long as they feel they need you and the minute they meet someone new or someone who they feel are better than you, they do not even give you a glance. None of the theories on personality have been helpful in stating a reason for this; it cant be an acquired trait because it does not classify as a basic feeling so how could one acquire it or learn it from the environment unless, a child is taught to put his needs first and not give a thought about anything else? I am sure no parent would invoke that feeling in their child. So, it's not a learnt trait, does not fit the social theory, is definitely is not explained in the Humanistic Approach, then what is it. I think i just confused myself. :|

Apparently, I happen to be blessed in meeting a good lot of such people and since i am the only one who seems to see this trait of theirs, i am getting bored. I need a variation, a different trait to break my head upon. Selfishness is getting plain monotonous and annoying.

Isn't this reason enough for you to get a dog? :)

The Ban On Plastic

This decision, by far, has been the wisest decision taken ever by the Government and i realized this when I went for my daily ritual of Golguppa. 

Every morning, i pass this huge heard of cattle and i cant help (i love cows and there is a particular bull in the herd that has the sweetest of faces!) but notice them trying to chew through the bazillion plastic covers in an attempt to get to the food that is inside. I have been around animals all my life, especially cows. My parents have been taking us to our farm house every summer and i have spent most of my time there in the cow shed, either feeding the cows or measuring the length of their tongues. I guess that's how my love towards animals started, i never let anyone use the bullock cart then and I still make a fuss when people around me suggest to use an animal for transport. :|

When i started reading of deaths of dogs and other animals due to suffocation caused by them trying to eat plastic, i made up my mind to give everything plastic for recycling; shampoo bottles, milk covers and even plastic covers. But since plastics like biscuit covers were not accepted because they could not be recycled, we had to throw them and this meant that there could be more animals killed (I still do not understand why people do not pay much heed to an animal that is killed due to their carelessness and get it stuck in their head that since it cannot speak for itself, it's ok if the animal suffers and eventually dies. Humans!)

Thankfully, the ban on plastic that is less than 40microns (above that, the plastic can be recycled) has been taken seriously and people seem to be following it by carrying their own shopping bags and many brands have shifted to using paper bags(that better be recycled too). Amen, to that.

So now, i can eat all my junk food in peace, without worrying about the damage my cookie's packaging cover is going to cause to the animal kingdom! Long live the animals! Oh and yes, thank you, dear Government.

It went bang, bang, bang, straight through my heart

Obsessing over this song now. Ah, there is something very catchy about this song, just cant seem to get enough of it. What, with the exams going on, its the perfect song to listen to over and over and over again. (2 hours straight). Didn't even know that K'naan had a second awesome song (the first being waving flag, of course and though we have had an overdose of that one, cant deny the fact that it was one good song) and Adam Levine! =)

Note To Self

• Never force your pet to eat. He probably isn't hungry or is sulking (wonder where they learn that stuff from) because he wants a change in his food. Forcing him to eat is only going to lead to one of the two things- A) He'll throw up, and very conveniently on your bed, while cleaning which you'll notice the presence of awful deformed things that you did not expect to find in his puke. Plus, that will be one more addition on your list of Important Things To Be Done since dog puke has this thing of seeping all the way to the other end of the mattress. And B) He'll turn out to be a spoilt brat who refuses to eat until he is fed. In my case, this animal has to be coaxed to eat. We have to promise him treats once he finishes breakfast/lunch. A change in diet is not appreciated either unless we resort to letting him have pizza with extra cheese everyday.        
                                    
• Do not watch a horror show right before you hit the sack, not even the lame Hindi one. It seems to have some sort of a lasting effect on your brain (If only I could remember class-related topics this well) and the next thing you know, you are waking up a zillion times that night and you don't even know why.
   
• Listening to the "One Missed Call" ringtone is funny ONLY during the day. Try not to even think of it after sunset. You may think that since it did not have much affect on you during the day, the same holds good for the night too. You do not want to be proved wrong. So it is best when avoided.
  
• Never ask your friend, with a vivid imagination, to scare you. And if you do, DO NOT try to imagine the scene. You do not have to prove your bravery to anyone. They say the mind is not accustomed to seeing another image of your self, with the exception of your image in the mirror (and identical twins). Hence, when you imagine seeing another reflection of yourself in the mirror, it freaks you out. I watch way too many horror films and i know i have to stop.
  
• Remember that this is all your fault. No one forced you to watch "Shutter", the Korean version of all things! You did this to yourself so you have no one to blame except for yourself.
  



I know this is a very gruesome
image. :|
But then it is not like
the lizard was
 given a choice
to make before it was
born as a lizard so
i think i feel sorry for it.
And it DIED, sticking to that glass.
Pretty amazing, huh?

• Curiosity DID kill the cat and as for that lizard, it died of natural circumstances. Try not to wonder where the blood clot came from. Plus, try not to think of it while finishing lunch, though it might be an easy way to skip the boring food, you do not want to feel nauseous and give your sibling a reason to tease you for the rest of your life.

• Instead of just "thinking of finishing the portions" a week before the exam, try to actually finish studying everything AT LEAST two days before. It is not going to be easy, but it will give you a sense of satisfaction and plus, you do not have to wake up before sunrise on the day of the exam and you can get adequate amount of sleep the night before.

• The next time someone calls you a nerd, do not think twice before whacking them and you do not have to explain why you are not a nerd.
  

• You may not be a teen anymore but that still does not change a few things. Remember this especially before you decide to take in a homeless dog/cat.
  
  
• Your mom will not let you take in a kitten and she will not give in even after listening to the sad plight (half of which you made up, just to convincer her) of the homeless animal and she will bring all your faults to your notice- about how you just want a cat to play with and she is compelled to do the other dirty works such as toilet-train it and you know it is a losing battle.Mothers can be really tough that way.
  
• It is not easy to get a kitten to shut up and they continue to shriek and bring the roof down even after being put in the closet just so that your parents find out that you took in another kitten and started the process of turning home into an animal shelter all over again.
  
• Do not try to figure dogs out, because you cant.  Either they are thinking of something so deep that it is beyond your understanding capacity or they are plain weird. While Bruno thinks that he is curing some kind of an itch that his lady-bug shaped pillow has, Benzy sits around staring into empty space which makes me wonder if she is possessed (which she probably is).

• Some dogs are genetically thin so do not try to get them to put on weight or you too will end up being the proud owner of a deranged (this has nothing to do with her half black-half white mask face) dog whose stomach is inversely proportional to her face and her legs continue to look like they would break if you sat on it. You are over feeding a dog that likes to laze around and sleep at home all day, she is bound to put that energy to use by randomly barking in the middle of the night.
  
• Too much of anything is bad. This includes watermelons and mangoes.
  
• You think you can fix your laptop, but then you also thought you could fly so sometimes, it is good to seek help.
  
• No matter how many years pass by, you will always be your older brothers vent machine. Live with it.

• It is alright to chop your hair short in the summer. It will grow back, do not worry.
  
• Some girls will never update their level of thinking; not in a million years. It is best to maintain your distance from them. You are diplomatic and nice. So what if the don't return your sweetness? You do not have to do the same because then, there would be no difference between them and you now, would there? =)

The Time Is Not Right- Extrinsic Frame Of Reference

So much for optimism and the whole "try not to give in to the negativity" and "do not let negativity take over your life". Since it is a lot more easier to say that the time is not right, i too will take refuge in the cliche and make things much more simpler for myself.

• I cannot seem to hang on to the studs. This has never happened before and it is frustrating because it is such a job to go hunting for the perfect pair of studs.
• People just could not get more annoying. I mean, what can I do if you do not understand sarcasm? That too after knowing me for years now! Such a shame.
•  Everything is NOT going to be OK. No matter how many times you tell me, i am still going to nod my head and agree but we know the truth and just because you tell me it is just a phase, does not make this just a "phase". Some nerve you have in calling me your friend, as a matter of fact. Lies.
• But i guess life moves on, with or without the people in your life so when I am 32 and on a vacation in Antarctica, surrounded by Huskies, you all can make a feeble attempt to talk to me by calling and make me feel good about this whole episode. And much more than I am willing to write. =)

The Most Amazing Animal On The Planet

I do not know what is with Labrador Retrievers but they are so easy to get attached to (not that I am saying it is any tougher to get attached to any other animal, but it is definitely a job to try not to like a Lab), and once they come into a family as the first pet, you get so familiar and accustomed to the breed that it becomes close to impossible to have any other dog apart from a Lab. The most friendliest, adorable, weird (they wag their tails while barking) animals that has ever been. Jumping on people and chewing on their hands is their way of saying hello, gnawing on their leash, they do the opposite of what they are asked to do hence, it is a tedious job to keep them off the bed/couch or even the bean bag, they speak through their eyes and have so many different expressions that it will surprise you. So when you hire a Trainer for your Lab and when the Trainer asks you to sell your dog to him, to the police bomb squad, do not think twice before you refuse because no other being can bring half the amount of happiness in your life as much as your beautiful dog. After all, it is with a reason that they are ranked #7 on the list of The Most Intelligent Dogs.

Very social, can get along really well with anybody, including other dogs, cats and birds even, you could bite them and bother them as much as you want and they wont snap even then; when trained, he will stop when you ask him to and wont touch food that is not meant for him. They are very intelligent that way and they will teach you that unconditional love does exist. The only dog that will follow you when you are walking into the sea, probably in an attempt to save you in-case the waves succeed in taking you away from him; will go everywhere with you when you take him away from home, even if that means he has to climb a wooden ladder or cross a river on a hanging bridge-he will do it all just to be with you: will laze around at home all day but jump and run to the door when he hears you taking the car out and that is when you realize what life would have been without this little fur-shedding animal in the backseat of your car, jumping away to glory with his favorite soft toy in his mouth and barking randomly at other animals on the road, as if to tell them how much he loves going on drives. Life would have been empty. Hence, having dog fur on your most expensive of clothes, in the car and every inch of the house is a small price to pay and it wont be long before you start ignoring all the dog fur and begin to see it as his stamp- that he was here, in your life.

In no time, you will realize that he is not just a dog, he is your life. A part of the family who will go everywhere with you, including vacations. Everything will revolve around him and you wont like it when people refer to him as "it" or call him your "dog", get annoyed when he is being made fun of, you feel happy even when things are not going right for you (clichéd,but true) and everything you do, you do it for him. He gives a whole new meaning to love, brings infinite amount of happiness and teaches you to forgive. 

Bruno, you might not always come to me when I call you, but I sure do know that you miss me when I am not around and that does say a lot. And no, I will never stop pushing you into a water body when I see one. :) 

Public Transport? NO MORE!!

People who rely on public transport, especially autos, in this city should be given an award of some sort for their patience and determination to not give up.  I still cant figure out how they do it. Must be something they eat to keep calm, perhaps? Auto-rickshaw drivers are easily the most annoying thing about this city. A)They do not know how to talk to women and like that was not enough, they think they are the rulers of this country, behave like it is OK to boss people around and then say things like "I brought you back safe". Really, now? Your definition of  "safe" involves abusing someone who, mind you, is not traveling in your Auto for free and complaining about the roads she chose to take you through, is it? I did not ask the Government to bombard the roads and make your life a living hell but given the chance, I would have put you through that. When the hell will these people be taught a lesson? I reached my saturation point almost three years back and the thought of taking an Auto and having to talk to them in the process still gives me nightmares. 

I dint intend on meeting you ever but that was a lesson well learnt, which will not happen again. EVER again.

 Oh and guess what Mr.Auto driver? It is not long before the Metro comes into the scene and you will be out of business so maybe it is high time you start to learn how to talk to women and throw that foul language of yours in the gutter and probably follow it as well.

Two Brothers: The Movie

If this movie was not made in 2004, then probably I would have made a similar movie. Atleast that way my dream of spending time with tigers would have been fulfilled! The tigers, Sangha and Kumar (names in the movie) are so darn adorable!

Probably the only animal movie I am happy with (excluding the parts where the cubs are mishandled :|), the happy ending and a 'save the tigers' message plus none of the animals get killed! Also, the best part when Kumar escapes from the circus and runs away to the jungle with Sangha where they are re-united with their mother. What is not to like? It's perfect!






Image courtesy: impawards.com

The Best Friend

I have known her since forever. She has never liked the name her parents gave her and preferred to be called Lydia. We used to do everything together-play, homework, going on hikes, you name it. Life seemed like a scene from a Hollywood movie, but i know nothing will ever tear us apart. We were Best Friends Forever. Lydia and I.
My classmates were very friendly in the beginning. I was very excited to get to know them, to have more friends to play Tag with. Lydia warned me to not trust them, to maintain my distance; but i managed to convince her to give them a chance and boy, was i wrong!
I thought they would like Lydia, there is nothing to "not like" about her.
I still remember the looks on their face when i introduced them to her. That was the last day any of them even smiled at me. Lydia gave me the "i told u so" look and it bothered me a lot, I could not come up with one good reason why they would not talk to me.
Lydia taught me to not care about them. She said they dont deserve it. She was my only friend from then on, we would sit in the corner of the class, next to each other and draw pictures of all the other girls in class being run over by a bus. These drawings used to make us very pleased with ourselves and i had to hide all the drawings in my closet after i got home; i had not told my parents about Lydia and did not intend to tell them either because they would break our friendship- they dint like to see my happy.
Lydia grew up to be the prettiest girl is school. She was a little haughty, but that could be ignored. We were in high school now and we continued to be inseperable, time spent in the playgrounds were replaced with going to malls and reading Cosmo. Life could not have gotten better than this. Not even if i had a hundred friends.
As time passed by, Lydia started talking strange. She would keep to herself and refuse to tell me what was bothering her. She said she does not want my help. I was worried. This one time, she said she wants to talk to Mary-Ann, she said she was the only one who could help her. Lydia and i know no Mary-Ann. When i pointed this out to her, Lyd went into denial. She started crying hysterically and told me she has never mentioned MA to me because she dint want us to know each other, she said MA is like her twin. That felt weird because all my life i believed that Lyd and i were twins. How could she have another twin, now?
That incident was the first of many. Lyd was never the same after that. I tried to talk to her about MA, tried to find out where she did her schooling and everything. On getting relevant information about MA, i tried to get in touch with her. Lyd claimed that all the pictures of hers and MA, when they went to the beach, mall, to Disney Land, were all with
MA herself. Strange. Lyd had spent every minute of her life with me but i dare not point this fact out to her. She was already hysteric, and i wanted to do something to help. A few phone calls later my assumption was right. There was no person named MA, inspite of Lyd being very fluent in giving me what she thought was MA's address and her university room number.
I was scared for Lyd. I talked her into going to see a Psychologist. She hesitated, said no one could help her but for MA. After days of constant pestering, she gave in. She had already started to look bad; swollen eyes from all the crying, unkempt hair which once was silky and straight and perfect. Miss Morgan was very nice to us. She spoke kindly, offered us cookies. We met her thrice every week and at the end of the 5th week, she told us its schizophrenia. That I am schizophrenic.

Photographs

A lot of people I know always complain about the number of pictures i take. I cant help it, i love pictures! They help me keep my memory intact. A picture speaks a thousand words and I dont know how anyone can not take pictures, let alone complain about it. Someday, they will know what i mean.  ( Feels good to say it!)

Pictures need not always have people in it, not always. It can be something as random as maybe rain, or food, anything around you. A picture is something that you look at, years down the line and feel it talking to you, telling you a story. (Though the story might differ depending on the person's point of view). They help us recollect the moment that has passed, if it weren't for this little invention of photographs, we probably would not have appreciated the elegant peacock and the beautiful colors those feathers carry, neither would we have known how beautiful the color green actually is. Everything looks oh-so-pleasant in a photo than it does to the naked eye, makes everything and everyone look flawless. And they say there is no such thing called magic? :)

Walking Away

You think you can just walk into my life and walk out as you please? Things do not happen that way. You say you are busy, but you have all the time in the world to talk to all your friends and cousins: everyone except me. I wonder if you will ever tire of giving me these lame reasons, which probably do not convince you either. Making my life a mess, that is something you are not entitled to. I do not belong to you, I dont have to reply to your texts or talk to you when YOU have the time. There is no point in talking to a heartless person, who cares for no one but the people in her own Fairytale Land that does not exist. I am sick of you, sick of everything that you do. And it is my time to walk out now. I hope you feel the same that i did, girl.