The inner voice

Please give me strength to not let things affect me, to be stronger and to move on. Please give me strength to step into a new life with confidence and to embrace every person who I meet with no guilt. Please give me the strength to control my emotions, my anger; to let people be who left my side when I most needed them and broke my trust. Please give me strength to believe, to get back on my feet. Please don't let me give up after all this time.

An Indian Wedding

[Image courtesy of Google]


So stereo-typed we are,even to this day. Love marriages are something that sound oh-so-pretty as long as your immediate relatives aren't involved.

A cousin got married recently and by the look of things, the family is gonna talk about it for a long time now. Yes, her's was a love-marriage.

What bollywood-ish drama went on in the family! Convincing the parents, putting up with these dirty looks thrown around by relatives who I did not know exist. Seriously, there was no need to create such a huge issue out of nothing!So what if she selected her own groom? What's wrong in that? SHE will be the one living with him, so why do people have a problem with that? Why can't they just respect her decision and save everyone the drama? Shallow-ness.

A weird confusing feeling

Often we come across people we like-who you keep in touch with forever. And sometimes you meet people who you dont gel well with, simply because you are two different individuals with different perspectives. But little was i aware of the category which lay hidden between these two extremes.

I am extremly fond of her, bond to her, even. Family-ties. I'm so happy when she triumphs and share her sorrow when she fails. I can promptly say that I know every significant day of her life. Like a sister but not quite. I like spending time with her, gossip over coffee (strangely, I transform into the talkative one), and mere texts from her make my day.

Then what is this feeling deep inside of me? The one that says she doesn't deserve the partiality, the love? Why cant I put an end to that voice which, sometimes, just keeps growing louder and makes me wanna scream so that I overpower that voice?

I know she aint perfect but then who is? I dont think I would want a perfect person. That would put a lot of pressure on me and my imperfections. Sure, the things she's doing aren't ethical, but would she listen to me if I tried to talk sense into her? Would she understand that the reason behind me correcting her lies in my undying care? Maybe not. She might just ignore me and come to a conclusion that I wana control her life. It's certainly not worth the risk.

I could just let her fall and learn from her mistakes. Then the voice in my head says-What if she doesn't recover from the fall? This care is really weird. It wakes up your protective instinct.

I just want you realise and remember that you are loved; see it in all the little things I say and do for you.

xoxo

Being A Woman

Each day, I see my mother doing all the hustling around and I'm filled with gratitude. Keeping the house running, shuffling to work, making all the yummy food that her children demand, putting up with tantrums, making sure all the pets get what they need... is not an easy task. (though i never acknowledge it)

Being her is so hard. Infact, being a woman is hard. The men in the family rarely give them the respect they deserve and its not their fault. Being busy does take such things off your mind.

Recently, a cousin got married and moved in with her new family. I 've never heard about how much the guys love their sisters and now, they are so full of it. My cousin says the house feels empty without his sister around and now he understands what people mean when they say 'girls make a house come alive' (however clichèd that might sound).

Makes me wish I had a sister (preferably a twin) who i could spoil rotten. Someone to taste my experiments with cooking, someone who would borrow my wardrobe and return it in a bad shape and drive me mad with her antics.

Things you could do when sleep doesn't seem to dawn on you

1. Think of the beautiful nachos you had for lunch and wish you could go back in time.

2. Stare at the clutch that you (finally) bought.

3. Gorge on marshmellows.

4. Personalise your boring black file by adding some glitter. How artistic could you get? (EXACTLY why you should go stationery shopping frequently. There's always something new and nice to buy)

5. Make a list of all the things you need (want).

6. Make space for yourself on the bed so that when sleep comes knocking, you can easily give in.

7. Wake up your adorable, sleepy dog with the camera's flash and watch how he stops snoring.

8. Think about time and how it waits for no one. Could I do that? Maybe not.

9. Wonder if your friends were right when they told you that you'll be famous (for the RIGHT reason) someday. (Am I there yet? How much more longer?)

10. Try to recollect the dream you had last night.

11. Play the guitar and think of how much you wish you would own a drum kit.

12. Wonder if that woman will remember to get the Oriflame form in the morning.

13. Think of the future/career. Big dreams.

14. Raid your sibling's room for hidden junk food!

15. Flip through the Dictionary. Wouldn't my high school teacher be so proud of me for following her "learn a new word everyday" ritual, even to this day?

16.Call up friends who are busy preparing for their exams. If lucky, you stand a chance to get yelled at=few minutes of entertainment.

17. Scribble away in the journal! Or maybe just doodle 'cause of lack of motivation.

This list is not gonna end anytime soon, but is only gonna grow. Like my restlessness.

STOP!